Some criminals are dumb, some are warped geniuses and others are just plain weird. Which is lucky for us seeing as we’re all about the weird on this blog! The particular criminal in question took offence when an Iowa cop tried to arrest him for robbing a local store. The booty? One pair of sunglasses, a packet of smokes and two stuffed monkeys. As in the cuddly toy variety, not the taxidermy variety. Although that would be a truly weird crime…

Rather than spend his precious time developing HR software, finding a cure for cancer or just not being a sore on the backside of society, Preston James Phipps decided he would take a couple of cuddly monkeys from his local store in Des Moines and make a run for it, apparently telling the clerk who hollered after him that it didn’t matter as he was “going back to prison anyway”. Well, young man, with that attitude there was no way you were going to be able to avoid the long reach of the law for long! Cue the arrival of the amusingly named Officer Pirtle, who happened to be passing and had seen Phipps striding manfully from the store with the cuddly monkeys under his arm.

Strangely, he thought nothing of a 6 foot-tall, tattooed skinhead running across a car park with a couple of toys and it was only when the report of the robbery came over the radio that he put two and two together and came up with the monkey man he had just witnessed. Unfortunately for Officer Pirtle, and the stuffed monkeys, Phipps wasn’t going to go down without a fight. As the valiant cop attempted to handcuff him, our fur-loving thief swung a right hook that caught Pirtle square in the face. A right hook that came with extra stuffed monkey.

Phipps was eventually taken into custody and was actually charged with assaulting an officer with a stuffed monkey. He went back to jail and Pirtle went back to keeping the streets of Des Moines safe from doll snatchers. And I’m sure his supportive colleagues have made no King Kong jokes at all since the trial….

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I always love the odd and unusual stories that you get on news websites, and the jackpot is often found in the science section. In the same week that the Ig-Nobel awards were announced (the Nobel prizes for weird and wonderful scientific research) comes the news that researchers in the Netherlands have found a microbe that can turn human urine into rocket fuel. Pretty cool, eh? What would be even cooler is if they could find a way for us to just piss in our cars instead of having to fill them up at the petrol; imagine how much money we would save on nationwide fuels if we could bypass the pumps and simply power our own vehicles? I just haven’t quite figured out the logistics for female drivers…

Anyway, the original research may be cool and kooky, and has garnered the researchers and their paper lots of headlines, but when you read into it further, the discovery isn’t quite as impressive or as useful as it might first appear. For a start, they have only theoretically “proven” that the microbe has the power to turn the ammonia in urine into the hydrazine molecules that make up rocket fuel. They are planning a practical demonstration of their discovery once they have the funding, but even then the number of hydrazine molecules that can be produced from the ammonia in one person’s urine is so small that it would take something like the whole world’s annual supply in order to power one trip to the moon!

Unsurprisingly, NASA had been monitoring the work of the Dutch scientists when they first got wind of the idea, but have since lost interest as the application seems to have no practical uses. Like a lot of scientific research, it is only of interest to those taking part in and those of us who find their results mildly amusing.

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Wind the clock back, technologically speaking, 50 years. Now then, what do you see? If you’re anything like me you’ll see a world which is very curious about technology. A world which would consider technology being at the centre of everything well…just a little bit weird. I said, curious, not obsessed. But look at our modern civilisation in the present day – from London to Egypt and everywhere in-between – and you see a very different picture. Mobile phones have taken over our lives. To the extent where many people feel the need to be connected to the internet at virtually all times.

Where as, back in the day, breakfast was the first thing which was on peoples’minds, nowadays it’s not survival, it’s email. But surely we shouldn’t be concerned about this widespread fascination with technology, right? Wrong. According to a recent article in the Huffington Post, this fascination is quietly turning into an addiction right beneath our noses. The result is dangerous, say some psychologists. And it could be that the next generation has no choice but to be dangerously addicted.

Ask yourself: can you not be online for just one day? Are your internet-related activities anything to do with work?

From gaming consoles like the amazing R4 3DS , to mobile phones by Samsung and Apple, technology has made everything possible. And we do mean everything, from the boring and formal — transferring money — to the weird and downright wacky — all kinds of apps which are a bit too strange to be mentioned here! If you want to do it, chances are that somewhere there will be an app designed for it. An app which will mean zero human interaction and light-speed effect.

So really, how concerned should we be about this? Well, that would depend. Ask yourself: can you not be online for just one day? Are your internet-related activities anything to do with work? Are they essential to your being? If the answer to all three of those questions is %u201CNo%u201D then you may have to consider you have an internet addiction which requires some help.

Another thing which will tell you, somewhat more quickly, that you have a problem, is this: do you sleep next to your mobile phone? If so then you won’t be the only one, not by a long-shot. According to the aforementioned article, up to – and possibly more – a third of US citizens sleep next to their mobile phone, purely out of the fear of missing an email or text message. While many of these people, it is fair to say, rely on their phones for communication with work, it’s also fair to say that this is probably going too far and could be classified as more than a bit bizarre. We advise you head on over to the article now and give it a read. Then ask yourself: do I have a problem?

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World War Z is a truly weird novel, written as a collection of memoirs by people who have survived the war against the undead, against zombies who rise from the grave with the sole instinct of tearing apart and eating the living. The characters range from veteran soldiers who describe the first, disastrous attempts to contain the zombie plague, to ordinary people who stepped up and became heroes. As an additional point of interest, the author images different scenarios in different countries, so we hear about people’s experiences all round the world.

Now, good news for fans of Brad Pitt: the star is to feature in a film of World War Z. No doubt the story will change dramatically for the big screen and focus on action rather than emotion, but it should be an interesting addition to the ranks of horror films - and some of it was filmed off the coast of Britain.

The book is a follow up by Max Brooks to his popular Zombie Survival Guide, a spoof on wilderness and disaster survival guides that advise on everything from equipment needed in certain situations to how to shoot a rifle or lay a trap. But where Brooks differs from usual spoof books is that there is nothing tongue-in-cheek. No, he treats the whole subject with deadly (groan) seriousness, as if the big zombie problem is really just around the corner. He provides eyewitness accounts of ‘infestations'and zombie attacks, and advises how to recognise the early warning signs of a problem in your area.

That’s fine, and it makes for an interesting read, except that some people are following his advice and are searching for remote areas where they can make their zombie-proof stronghold when the dead arise. These believers are roaming around the countryside both night and day, so all I hope is that they have arranged their emergency fuel suppliers not just for after the apocalypse, but for when they run out of fuel on their hopeless search.

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You spin around, a little bewildered. Or, let’s face it, a lot bewildered. You thought you were all alone but hmm…it appears you thought wrong.

Accidentally, and just because you were grappling with your rod, you swing it in the man’s direction. He then tells you to please put the rod away; once you have he launches into a dramatic speech about your bait. You can’t use it, he says.

Now, this may seem rather far-fetched, but according to The Telegraph, it’s completely true. A fishery in Hampshire have banned white bread. Their reason? It’s making the fish get fat.

That’s right, you read correctly: it’s making the fish unhealthy. And it will no longer be tolerated.

Reading the article, you can’t help but wonder what would happen if you waved a McDonald’s cheeseburger in a hungry trout’s general direction. Presumably that would be grounds for a light prison sentence?

Whatever the future of fishing is, it’s definitely causing a ripple among anglers with a love of Diesel Stoke engines – economical, good for getting from lake to lake – and that oh so beloved white bread.

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In one of the more bizarre things I read about today was the news that a man staggered into a police station in Germany asking the officers to be placed in protective custody. The reason? Well it seems his wife simply won’t let him get any sleep because she’s sex mad and demands that he fulfil his marital duties whenever she desires…which is every ten minutes.

The ‘unfortunate'husband (originally from Turkey) allegedly broke down in tears as he explained his story. The interesting thing is that the couple have been together for eighteen years and have had two children. Can it have been really that bad? Well, yes according to the husband who claims he hasn’t had a proper night’s sleep for four years. He’s even taken to sleeping on the sofa so that his wife doesn’t harass him for sex during the night. It seems that hasn’t worked either though as she’s been coming downstairs and waking him up when the mood takes her fancy.

Police have been baffled over what to do and one jokingly suggested the husband erect banner stands around the sofa warning his wife away when he wanted a bit of rest. Needless to say this suggestion was not considered viable by the husband who has now filed for divorce in the hope that once he has moved out he will finally be able to get a decent night’s sleep.

Allegedly a few police officers upon hearing the husband’s story had little sympathy for his plight.

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What is with this obsessions with zombies? I was searching through lofts east london for a new and lovely place to live, when a group of five walked past me looking literally like the living dead. Its all over the news, the organizers of the zombie wedding protest being busted the the Metropolitan Police before they had any chance to make it to the streets dressed like the living dead. This particular group of people were off to some sort of conference for the living dead and I tried to follow them but soon got lost in the winding roads around Shoreditch High Street. I am trying to digest zombies in East London, and have come up with a couple of different answers, there are some people interested in zombies from a fascination with horror movies, especially Day of the Dead and the spoof Sean of the Dead/ There are also, however, political zombies and philosophical zombies.The term originates from African and Caribbean native religions where the dead without souls are controlled by wizards or witches. It is easy to see how this would be an interesting metaphor in both philosophy and politics to describe the state of people as they move through life following orders and doing what is expected of them without giving it much thought. It is brilliant to see the fancy dress coming out as subtle and brilliant political commentary, funny, though, that they probably weren’t thinking that hard about it as they were applying their make up.

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How about you ask yourself a question: do I enjoy looking and using things which are, frankly, absolutely car-crash horrific? If you answered a firm “No!” then you know where the door is. I suggest you go to the x in the top right corner of this screen and get out before I mention…

The autopsy baby doll.

Yes: the AUTOPSY BABY DOLL. You did read that right the first time.

It’s hard to know where to begin when talking about this utterly frightful thing…and no, it’s not in good taste. In fact, bad taste doesn’t quite cut it either. It’s something even more shocking so you have been warned.

Basically it’s a doll which looks like a zombie. And not in a playful that-doesn’t-really-look-like-a-baby-way either. This doll, which is apparently much sought after, looks precisely how you would expect a zombie car-crash baby to look. All the blood. All the horror. It really does rank up there as one of the weirdest and most unsettling things I have ever seen. Am I going to buy it? No. No way. Not ever. But I’m sure a lot of people are.

Go on, check out the link and see for yourself if you think you’re brave enough: http://www.weirdthings.org.uk/buy-an-autopsy-baby-doll-bizarre-video-will-make-you-completely-sick/

(And just as a word of warning, my friend Bob who is a horror movie freak and HTML coder obsessed with putting the code r4i into web-sites a bit like the way Tyler Durden does in Fight Club, says it is nasty…and that is saying something.)

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Dear Weirdo, thanks for coming to see me, It’s been much too long already, so promise me: don’t leave it so long the next time? It gets boring just existing as a load of perfectly still characters on a page. HTML isn’t too much of a riot either, just so you know…

So, I suppose you’re expecting something even weirder than last time, aren’t you now? Well, I can’t 100% promise you that – and let’s face it, you’ve already seen a fair amount of weirdness – but what I can promise you is that over at the following link you will find a web-site that will have even Lady Gaga confused and all a muddle and wondering if she is really the most innovative fashionista out there. Yes, my friend, the web-site if full of it, so see for yourself: http://www.weirdomatic.com/crazy-smashing-hairstyles.html

And it’s about time we saw some REALLY weird hair-styles. It’s 2011! It’s time to move things forward a bit, stop wearing the same old tried-and-trusted boring hair-do’s and do something a little bit different.Why not a large format printing machine worn as a bun? Why not a fax machine as a fringe? Exactly!

My only complaint, dear reader, is that there aren’t enough weird male hair-cuts going on. While the women are jazzing it up, wearing their hair in massive horns and having baskets of flowers on their heads (see the above web-site) the men are being left out criminally. Where is the male version of Lady Gaga? Right now it would seem that women are taking over the world of the weird hair-cut, and men are being kept firmly at the sidelines.

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This unique museum, the only one in the world, is known as the Iceland’s Phallological Museum. It is located in Husavic, 298 miles northeast of Reykjavik in Iceland. What makes this museum so unique is that it is devoted in the collection and study of mammalian penis, or phallology. The museum has more than 260 penis specimen from ninety species of various mammals. The collection does not have yet a human specimen, but a number of people (four, actually), reportedly have pledged or signed on to donate their own penises to the museum after they died. It is enough reason for the curator to not to worry about it.

The museum’s founder and present curator is Sigurour Hjartarson. He is a former teacher of art history. It all started as a hobby, and his hobby started with only one penis of a bull. Since then his collection grew through donations from some people particularly hunters and biologists. He has asked the government of Iceland for assistance through art funding, but he was rejected, until his persistence worked. The museum now is drawing in crowd.

Inside the small museum you can find and admire the many penis specimens on display. You can find them either in glass jars with preserving agent, or dried and mounted on the museum walls. The largest penis on display in Iceland’s Penis Museum is 5.58 feet long, from a blue whale. People have shown interest in the museum, flocking to the site during summers. And the owner/curator has started to make profits out of his collection. This collection of the short and long male organ makes this museum the world’s weirdest museum.

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